Did you make your own success? Or did you have help?

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Permalink Reply by Victoria Finch on June 15, 2009 at 10:30pm

We are the sum total of our experiences. We are who we are based upon the people that come and go throughout our lives. I believe that the same is true for our environment. I saw a sign in a home that said: Everyone that enters this home is a blessing, some by staying and others by leaving. I would say that there is no such thing as a "self made man" . I firmly believe that success is a team sport.

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Permalink Reply by Steve Stuck on June 15, 2009 at 11:05pm

"Outliers" is a term used by statisticians to describe some data that are far away from the average.

The book itself shows very good illustrations on how hockey players that were born early get put into the sport itself earlier than those at the specific cut off date because of their birthday. By putting these players in earlier, they became much better because they were introduced to the better players. Another great example is about a KIPP charter school serving minority students, whose academic performances far exceed those of other minority students, even though these students were selected by lottery, rather than on the basis of ability.

The only problem I have is that he focuses way too much on social policy when the ability to achieve is already there. Social policy for years has been what many have leaned back on instead of individualism and taking responsibility in their own communities.

I myself am a pure individualist. While many believe in the collective, I lean towards what is more self centering to me. Does that make me bad, no. I take care of my family first and we do things that benefit us to make our lives better. That means we decide what religion best suits us, the charity that will receive from our bountiful incomes and the type of business sense we want to grow our company.

Adam Smith best explained it as a set of trade offs rather then a real solution in changing man. The functioning of the economy and society required each individual to do things for other people; it was simply the motivation behind these acts - whether moral or economic - which was ultimately self-centered. In both his moral and his economic anlayses, Smith relied on incentives rather than dispositions to get the job done.

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Permalink Reply by Curt Alexander on June 16, 2009 at 6:40am

That's a tough one to answer. A favour here, a piece of advice there, a lucky break somewhere else...
I don't think anyone truly makes it on their own. If someone takes a chance on you that through logic you might not truly deserve, you've gotten help. You can argue that you did it on your own because you're a good saleswoman/man, but eventually, someone has to give you what you get. Otherwise, it's stealing.
Having written that, I can say I haven't inherited much; there was no family business already established that I took over. I can clearly see how each day's effort plays into the money and satisfaction that comes my way.
So, I lean toward saying it's more what I've done than what I've been given, but - just to contradict myself - what I've been given has helped me get a lot done.

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Permalink Reply by Darrin Gray on June 16, 2009 at 9:58am

Being a "self-made" person is just an illusion. We are all part of multiple communities. It is absolutely essential to our own personal development as individuals and leaders that we recognize the many communities in which we operate and live. " Being "self made" is not sustainable! Even those that do rise to the top are unlikely to stay there forever. it is tooooo lonely.

Being a "Self-less" person is the name of the game. It is what we are supposed to be doing on this planet. Paradoxically, “living a life for others” is ultimately how we will find our own self fulfillment, find meaning in life. If we want to grow, and develop a life of real significance then we must do it in community.

And so it goes….

DG

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Permalink Reply by Erik Deckers on June 16, 2009 at 10:23am

Having been on the receiving end of many of Darrin's opportunities (meeting Pat Coyle which led me to Smaller Indiana; networking me into a job selling direct mail, which of all things, led me to blogging; the same job which led me to Rainmakers and Confluence, and many more), I can tell you that being connected in a community leads to many, MANY more opportunities than taking the self-made/independent/I-don't-need-anyone route.

I suppose it can be done, but it's awfully hard work with little payoff. Or, you can always have an outstanding, well-connected network that creates opportunities you never would have found any other way. I know it's worked for me.

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Permalink Reply by Myron Kanning on June 16, 2009 at 2:13pm

It has been my experience, to generate industry leading results, you need to take only one action. Ask for help/assistance. Asking for help, by nature is not a typical characteristic of a self made person. Self made take pride in proclaiming they have all the answers. Many even refer to themselves as experts.

In my 4 decade career, early I was a traditional manager. Results were very good! In 1983 I began to ask for help to make the organization more competitive and results sky-rocketed! I never looked back, kept asking for help and kept getting great assistance. People will freely assist if they feel valued.

Unfortunately, few leaders/managers/supervisors ask for help, most seek compliance from others, and as a result over 80% of buisnesses can double results but are unwilling to do the simplistic actions to get double results.

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Permalink Reply by Ben McCann on June 19, 2009 at 10:23pm

right on myron... right on!

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Permalink Reply by Ben McCann on June 19, 2009 at 10:22pm

you can never have success without help. Anyone who has become successful, despite their hard work, had other people and relationships that invested into them.

I am successful, but only because I have LEARNED from others, yes I took the initiative TO LEARN and always be teachable, but I dare you to show me ONE PERSON who is successful without ANY help from others... it doesn't happen.

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Permalink Reply by David A Wachtel on June 30, 2009 at 6:59am

Fascinating thread...

Most of the people I know that are really successful, spent time following a leader somehwere along the way. Someone took interest in them, taught and mentored them, and from that ideas sprouted.

Generally, they evolved into some type of leadership role doing the same thing. They bring along a few people who come up with new ideas, and from that new things evolve. Whether it's a business or whatever, there are leaders and followers. Starting a business...ideas need money, followers with money are attracted to invest...regardless of where you look, there are idea people (leaders) and people attracted to that person and their ideas.

You can't be a leader unless you have a follower. The leader sets the tone, provides the opportunity, and if they are truly effective they attract the best people who will stay with them. This also is true with attracting customers.

Even Tiger Woods has a coach and a caddy that keeps his head in the game, provides needed details for shots, etc. Bill Gates had to be able to attract innovative people to develop the products. Tony Dungy was a good coach because he was able to get the followers to perform. Helio Castroneves won the 500 because his pit crew got him out first.

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Permalink Reply by Duncan Alney on July 8, 2009 at 6:27pm

Success is a team sport. But the individual must drive the success initiative! Without the community it becomes very difficult...

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Permalink Reply by David A Wachtel on July 10, 2009 at 7:27am

Correct. You do not motivate people. People are self motivated. However, every day people "in charge" suck the air out of rooms full of motivated people because they think that they did it all themselves, and therefore will get all the credit going forward.

Having been an executive and had over a hundred million in revenue responsibilites and close to 200 people working in that operation, it's easy to delude yourself into thinking that my "Success initiative" was the be all and end all of a good year. In fact, the best coaching I ever got was where I was told that I was not the only one that created success. I was taking a lot of credit for things with which I had little impact.

All I did was provide opportunity and allowed people to find their own level of success. I looked at it as being the conductor of the symphony and working with a long list of soloists...that's who the crowd wants to see. Not the conductor. I tried to give the people working in our company the opportunity to be a soloist of some level. Every day, they needed to feel good about what they did. They stayed motivated. This motivated our customers, and helped us win business away from our competitors.

A leader creates a motivational environment.

A leader that thinks they are the reason for the success is not going to be around very long.

You can't be a great coach without a great team. But a lousy coach can take a great team and make it mediocre very quickly.

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Permalink Reply by Jeremy King on July 15, 2009 at 10:18am

It depends on your definition of "self-made". If you focus on what YOU control in this world and the relationships that YOU build, one could argue that EVERYONE is self-made. I think most of the time people equate "self-made success" to those who had to work extremely hard to get where they are and those who create their own identity. Mark Cuban is a great example of that (love him or hate him). I think the people we choose to align ourselves with and the choices we make have a lot to do with our own success.
Great question, Pat!

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