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Generation Y: A bunch of Pompous Punks? Maybe.
I was watching Fox News this AM and tuned into Dr. Keith Albow discussing parents raising over-confident kids these days and how this WILL, not can, but will hurt society as a whole in the future. Is Generation Y going to be a bunch of unrealistic, narcissist know-it-alls? Is it fair, or right, to reward every kid evenly when competing for a prize? Is it even possible to be over-confident?
I'm a Gen X guy and I feel my generation was treated fair and realistic. When I "won", whether it was in football (albeit a team effort), or track, or a science fair projecct, I received more accolades than second place and so on as one should. When I "lost", I may have been devastated, but I was also motivated to augment my situation -- my life. After all, why should I be rewarded (at any level) for not being the best? A red ribbon was a joke to me (sort of).
This made me step up and think creatively and more intelligently. Also, it inspired a stronger work ethic ultimately benefitting those around me and beyond. I can't help but to think if we're spoiling our kids all of the time and pumping them full of lies (sorry, but that's exactly what it is if it's not completely the truth) that they'll end up being delusional, or worse, a loser. What will this do to our society 20 years from now?
I remember in the 4th grade my teachers placed a goal upon us. It was clear and well-defined: 1. Read five books by X date. 2. Perform an oral book report on each book with accurate details by X date. 3. If you accomplish the above, you're going on a field trip to the Indy 500. Awesome! I was on that bus with a huge freakin' smile!
In the 5th grade my teachers gave ue the same challenge without an obvious reward. Steps one and two applied, but something interesting happend. By X date, several buses pulled up outside my class window and the teachers named off roughly 50% of all 5th graders. They announced these kids would be going on a field trip to the Indy 500 and I wasn't one of them. I was angry, hurt and mostly disappointed at myself. There were kids kicking and screaming and crying, but we soon got over it. Why? Becasue reality set in and we learned a huge lesson.
I sat there in disgust trying hard not to stare at my buddies skipping onto the bus while laughing, joking and maybe even taunting us (well deserved). I remember being upset for merely a few minutes, but I took that opportunity to create something remarkable. My disgust in myself motivated me to create the most incredible science fair project in school history. I won big time and second place might as well have been last place. My parents taught me to be a humble winner and I was (still am). They also taught me to be keep things in perspective when I didn't "win". My parents were responsible because they didn't fuel my ego by lying to me. They often told me, "When you win, it's an obvious and instant reward. When you lose, it's not so obvious and it may come much later, but you're reward is much greater if you want it to be ". Quite frankly, I hated hearing that as a kid, but I get it now!
Empathy, Dr. Ablow states, is the best practice when teaching your children about not finishing first or best versus telling everyone they're just awesome. Think about it, if you get first place, you don't want to be in the same category of being last. This defeats the purpose and could hinder motivation and human ingenuity. Conversely, when your child finishes last, whatever that may be, it creates an opportunity for you to offer encouragement (Not BS) and a life lesson.
What are your thoughts? How do you raise your children?
I'm a Gen X guy and I feel my generation was treated fair and realistic. When I "won", whether it was in football (albeit a team effort), or track, or a science fair projecct, I received more accolades than second place and so on as one should. When I "lost", I may have been devastated, but I was also motivated to augment my situation -- my life. After all, why should I be rewarded (at any level) for not being the best? A red ribbon was a joke to me (sort of).
This made me step up and think creatively and more intelligently. Also, it inspired a stronger work ethic ultimately benefitting those around me and beyond. I can't help but to think if we're spoiling our kids all of the time and pumping them full of lies (sorry, but that's exactly what it is if it's not completely the truth) that they'll end up being delusional, or worse, a loser. What will this do to our society 20 years from now?
I remember in the 4th grade my teachers placed a goal upon us. It was clear and well-defined: 1. Read five books by X date. 2. Perform an oral book report on each book with accurate details by X date. 3. If you accomplish the above, you're going on a field trip to the Indy 500. Awesome! I was on that bus with a huge freakin' smile!
In the 5th grade my teachers gave ue the same challenge without an obvious reward. Steps one and two applied, but something interesting happend. By X date, several buses pulled up outside my class window and the teachers named off roughly 50% of all 5th graders. They announced these kids would be going on a field trip to the Indy 500 and I wasn't one of them. I was angry, hurt and mostly disappointed at myself. There were kids kicking and screaming and crying, but we soon got over it. Why? Becasue reality set in and we learned a huge lesson.
I sat there in disgust trying hard not to stare at my buddies skipping onto the bus while laughing, joking and maybe even taunting us (well deserved). I remember being upset for merely a few minutes, but I took that opportunity to create something remarkable. My disgust in myself motivated me to create the most incredible science fair project in school history. I won big time and second place might as well have been last place. My parents taught me to be a humble winner and I was (still am). They also taught me to be keep things in perspective when I didn't "win". My parents were responsible because they didn't fuel my ego by lying to me. They often told me, "When you win, it's an obvious and instant reward. When you lose, it's not so obvious and it may come much later, but you're reward is much greater if you want it to be ". Quite frankly, I hated hearing that as a kid, but I get it now!
Empathy, Dr. Ablow states, is the best practice when teaching your children about not finishing first or best versus telling everyone they're just awesome. Think about it, if you get first place, you don't want to be in the same category of being last. This defeats the purpose and could hinder motivation and human ingenuity. Conversely, when your child finishes last, whatever that may be, it creates an opportunity for you to offer encouragement (Not BS) and a life lesson.
What are your thoughts? How do you raise your children?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Erin Edds on -
Absolutely. My husband and I often talk about how we (as a society) are raising a bunch of soft, expectant, lazy twerps with a severe sense of entitlement! There used to be incentive to winning, excelling, TRYING! Now everyone gets a trophy, ribbon, certificate. If you don't bust your butt, you shouldn't get a prize!
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Permalink Reply by Jeff Lefevere on -
Interesting post and on the mark.
As a fellow Gen-Xer, it's been mostly Gen. Y that has made me feel like an old geezer at the ripe age of 36.
I think commenter Erin also gets it right.
My greatest challenge with many younger folks is work ethic and sense of entitlement. It's as if they think they should make $XX amount of money, and advance at XX rate without putting in an above and beyond effort to do so.
It's the entitlement and work ethic that is very dangerous. This sensibility is engendered by the notion that everybody is a winner and your so-so effort is "fantastic."
On the flip side, this dynamic might lead to a more culturally sustainable work life balance and softer gentler corporate environment then what Boomers and gen X have experienced.
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Permalink Reply by David Mark on -
Jeff,
You bring up an interesting perspective with your latter statement. I never thought of it that way before. I hate picking on professional athletes as a whole and perhpas it's an unfair blanket statement, but over the decade we've seen some spoiled brats who want millions without producing squat. This has to have been some influence on young kids. Do you remember this going on when we were young guys? I certainly don't Then again, free agency wasn't an issue either (not exactly my point).
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Permalink Reply by Marty posch on -
I am not sure where all of this "negativity" towards Gen Y has come from. I work at IUPUI and I can tell you that the Genertion Y that is there is the most community minded, giving back to the community, generation ever, only to be surpassed by the generation after them.
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Permalink Reply by Jim Schwartz on -
I just read this posting, and I agree with that we as a parents of the newest Generation Y have raised some great kids that seem to have an opinion of invincibility . And also seem to act smug or appear to have the opinion that just showing up means everyone wins a trophy or ribbon.
But maybe that is not a bad thing, I have found that all the wonderful people who seem to have a problem with this generation, also have a issue with non-involvement for themselves unless they know they can win or have a chance to win. Apathy has overcome this country, Now Generation Y has started to take an active interest in the polls , and we have the first President -elect who doesn't just believe in change , but is change himself .
I was born at the the end of the BOOMER generation , grew-up with the win at all cost mentality , nobody remembers who was number 2 in the championship game . I had a very lively discussion with my son over the issue a conversation that I never would have had with my own father , and we both agreed to disagree with each other. I respect him for his opinion . And I respect your opinion too .. So what do you think?
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