Make me Laugh – Show me the FUNNY!

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Comment by Cissi Sherlock on January 16, 2009 at 2:10pm

You got me!

Comment by Marita Topmiller on January 15, 2009 at 8:31pm

Here's another one.
: A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is three o'clock in the
morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

: "Who was that?" asked his wife.

: "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

: "Did you help him?" she asks.

: "No, I did not, it's three o'clock in the morning and it's pouring down rain outside!"

: "Well, you have a short memory!" says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months
ago when our car broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him,
and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

: "Yes," comes back the answer.

: "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

: "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

: "Where are you?" asks the husband. >::
:
: "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on January 15, 2009 at 5:19pm

Welcome, Eric!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on January 15, 2009 at 5:18pm

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.

The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.

This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'

Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.

She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she poops on you!'

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on January 15, 2009 at 5:15pm

Don't ever question the bravery of soldiers again!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on January 15, 2009 at 5:12pm

Eric!

It's so Carlin-esque! Epiphany got me!!!!!

Comment by Erik Deckers on January 15, 2009 at 4:32pm

Here are a couple of tidbits I twittered a few days ago:

- I never knew what epiphany meant. Then, suddenly, it hit me.

- I don't know what ubiquitous means, but I keep seeing it EVERYWHERE.

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on January 14, 2009 at 7:17pm

Maybe the Best Blonde Joke Ever!

Two blond girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.'

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on January 14, 2009 at 6:55pm

How a Real MAN uses a post-it note!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on January 14, 2009 at 6:44pm

Oh, Genie!!!!!

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