Make It or Break It

I was speaking with my awesome, AWESOME friends this evening at etagz out of Seattle, WA and we got caught up on the topic of decision-making, or the lack thereof. We were discussing how some folks, at every level, simply will not make concrete decisions. We could safely argree that not making a decision is actually making a decision, but do you really want to pay those consequences? Lets get real here!

Tim Ferris offers this, "Success can be measured in the number of uncomfortable conversations you're willing to have." Well-stated if you ask me. How often do you ask uncomfortable questions in your conversations? These are the ones that force people to come clean, be real and make a decision - NOW! It's truly a matter of will or won't, not can or can't. What's so difficult about making a freaking decision? You choose how difficult or brilliant you want things to be. It would behoove you to step up and simply (yes, it's more simple than you think) ask whatever is on your heart and mind. The truth is some people are just plain scared. They're scared to ask and be asked the tough questions. They're scared their answer just might be too painful to deal with in that moment. They're scared they might have to actually commit to making some serious changes. They're scared to hurt someone's feelings. They're scared to look in the mirror. I get by doing what scares you is a stretch, but by all means S T R E T C H! Otherwise your life is less fulfilling.

I've been asking some very difficult questions privately and publicly lately and I was VERY scared and sometimes hurt to hear the answer, but I'm glad I asked. I didn't always enjoy hearing the responses and I knew the answers to most of the questions before asking. Food for thought: If you feel extremely compelled to ask a specific question, you probably already knew the answer. You've been there before. I'm still somewhat disappointed by the answers, but I'll get over it quickly and I'm a better man for having the courage to ask.

Get over yourself and ask and/or answer the damn question!
Don't tolerate waffling (you) or wafflers (others).
Stop hiding and start sharing. Vulnerabilty is the ULTIMATE form of courage.
Stop holding on to a dead-end relationship. If he/she/company is not giving you encouraging feedback then your efforts are futile. Their responses should flow naturally. If you're forcing an answer out of someone, they've already made a decision even if it's abstract and filled with holes. "Maybe, kind of, perhaps" and sometimes "I don't know" are unacceptable. They know, they're just not sharing. Not knowing a Jeopardy question is safe. Claiming to not knowing something personal is lame. Move off center and show some resect for both parties. Do you or don't you want to hire this person, fire this person, ask her out, dump her, marry her, get a new career, have (blank) as a hobby, move to Bora Bora, eat Pizza on your diet or whatever. Just ask (better questions)! Then, of course, execute it!

Making decisions is as simple as asking better questions of yourself and others. This applies to personal AND professional situations. Ultimately, It's ALL personal. Strategies and tactics can be divided into two camps (pro and personal), but the outcome is ALWAYS personal.

Go ahead. Make it or break it and DO IT NOW!

I am David. I write from the heart. ;)