Help for sleep deprived parents

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Permalink Reply by Mat Foley on May 28, 2008 at 1:16pm

Hello,

I have a five-year old son that also takes Melatonin. What we have been doing is giving it to him about 20-30 minutes before bed and then letting him play active games or do something else physical (walk, bike ride, etc...) to burn out some of his energy during the time between taking the medicine and the actual time when he falls asleep.

Also, it took some work, but my wife and I basically removed all of the toys from his bedroom (they're now in his brothers room & a separate toy area) leaving only his clothes, his bed and some stuffed animals. We also painted his room to a darker color and added room-darkening blinds. We had read that darkness tends to activate the melatonin more effectively. Mind you, he's not living like a mole or living in any sort of cave, it's just a much more relaxing, calming atmosphere.

The end result is that my child now wakes up at 6 am instead of 4 and is going to bed at 9 instead of 12.

Hope this helps.

Mat

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Permalink Reply by Rae Kridel on May 28, 2008 at 2:24pm

Hi Mat,

Welcome to the group. It sounds like we're doing some similar things. We tried to give it to him after his bath but by then, he's sometimes so tired he doesn't want to drink, so we moved it up a little. He gets a good bath (he's hyposensitive so he likes it fairly warm) and then it's time for some play or maybe a video to wind down. Sometimes we do have some physical play, but maybe we need to make that more of a habit, instead of the exception.

We had also moved a little TV/VCR into his room so he could watch a video in the middle of the night if he woke at an insane hour (like, if my husband and I were both up working late and our son woke up an hour or two later) but perhaps it's time to move it out again. It might be what he's waking up to do, thinking he'll get to watch a video if he gets up.

And yes, you're correct about melatonin. It's what tells the brain to sleep when it perceives darkness. Maybe it's time to get rid of the night light and lower his blinds. How much do you give your son? We've been told that up to 10 mg is safe for his age, but I don't want to max out the dosage if we don't have to.

We do use an electronic sound machine to play relaxing sounds like rain and waterfalls, and that's been nice. We even took it with us on vacation.

Thanks for the ideas!

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Permalink Reply by Tracy Mishkin on May 28, 2008 at 7:56pm

Rae,
Sounds like you and Mat have some good ideas. If your son is still taking naps, I recommend you don't let him. Also, make sure the mattress on his bed fits his tastes/sensitivities. My son didn't sleep well for the first 18 months of his life and he had a very firm mattress. We changed mattresses to a very soft one and he's been sleeping well on it ever since (10 years). Generally I think people in this situation try to make waking up as boring as possible. If you do get stuck with an awake kid at 3am, it can help to take turns with your spouse/partner being the responsible party so that one of you gets some sleep, even if you have to use a separate bedroom.
Tracy

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Permalink Reply by Rae Kridel on May 28, 2008 at 10:07pm

He rarely takes a nap anymore, which is a little bit of a problem at school but he's gotten better about playing quietly on his cot. Tonight I raised his melatonin dosage some, closed his blinds and left the night light off, to see if that helps. Tomorrow I'll move the TV out of his room so he won't think he'll get to see anything if he wakes up. As far as taking turns, when Jeremy was in classes, it was always me staying up with him, because I had the more flexible schedule. I could crash and take a nap if I had to. This summer, his schedule is pretty light so we do take turns.

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Permalink Reply by Tracy Mishkin on May 29, 2008 at 6:47am

Going back to the idea of swallowing pills being a skill you'd like your son to learn, my ex-husband taught our son to swallow pills by using Smarties, a candy that resembles a pill. Noah was older than your son at the time, and it helped that he loved Smarties. He's been good about pills of all sizes, including those big fish oil capsules, ever since. When your son is physically able to swallow a pill, this tip might help encourage him to try it. I don't want kids to confuse pills and candy, but in this case my ex had a good idea.

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Permalink Reply by Mat Foley on May 29, 2008 at 9:23pm

Hi Rae,

How did things go? hopefully well. To answer your question, he takes 6 mg. We, too use a sound machine (LIFESAVER!). Also, I forgot to mention another "tactic" that we've found helpful with our son. We got a larger blanket for his bed - he's in a twin, so we've used either a full or a queen, and tucked the blanket snugly in around him under the edge of the mattress so he has to work at wiggling it loose - in other words, normal rolling around won't do it easily, but he still has room to maneuver. This adds compression at night and really helps to ease the, for lack of a better word, jitteriness.

Mat

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Permalink Reply by Rae Kridel on May 29, 2008 at 10:05pm

He did wake up once for about an hour, but considering how it's been going lately, it wasn't too bad. We have 5 mg pills so we tried 1 1/2 and spent a lot of time cuddling, jumping, playing and tickling before bed. I think he would have gone to bed a lot sooner but I had turned off his night light and I think he was a little freaked by the darkness. We're still working on his language skills but after about an hour of me, stupified, trying to cuddle him back to bed, I sent in my husband to try the next shift. He was only in there briefly when my son said "Dark." Jeremy turned on the night light and he knocked out right away. So, the night light seems to be a must.

As for compression, he's never liked being too wrapped up. Even as a newborn, he pulled his arms out of the swaddling and he'll usually kick his blankets off. But it's worth a try. We have an extra comforter that's a Queen so we can try it tomorrow night.

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Permalink Reply by Rae Kridel on May 31, 2008 at 7:55pm

Last night was the first night in over two weeks that he slept all the way through. We did 7.5 mg of melatonin and have been trying to give him either some very physical play, cuddles and tickling before bed, or something mentally challenging, like doing increasingly more difficult jigsaw puzzles. He was out by 8 pm and even with the massive storm, he slept straight through till 5 this morning.

Today we went to the Indianapolis Art Museum, had lunch at the IMA Cafe (which is excellent and reasonably priced, BTW) walked around the museum for awhile but he was way too antsy for that. We drove to the greenhouse and walked through Oldfields, down the steep rock steps to the White River and back up, all through the garden there and then back home. Once there, we were in the back yard playing for a couple of hours, lots of muck and gravel and wetness (yuck). He almost fell asleep in his bath and is now out like a light. I hope he sleeps through again!

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Permalink Reply by Rae Kridel on June 4, 2008 at 9:12am

As a follow up, he's slept very well four of the last five days. I don't know if it was the higher dosage of melatonin, the fact that we darkened his room some by closing the blinds, if he was exerting himself more before bed and was worn out, if keep him up an extra hour helped or what, but my husband and I appreciate the uninterrupted sleep!

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Permalink Reply by Mat Foley on June 5, 2008 at 9:44am

Great news!

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Permalink Reply by Rae Kridel on July 21, 2008 at 12:55pm

Ok, new update. We realized that we were giving him the melatonin just way too early, and he was usually out by 7. So with eight hours of sleep, he was up at an ungodly hour. We've been spending extra time with physical play in the evening and not giving it to him till 8:30 or so, and now he's out by 9 and sleeps all the way through till 6 or 7. Now he RARELY wakes up at night, and I've realized how much a two hour break in the middle of my sleep was affecting me.

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