I could use your candid feedback - making it better

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Permalink Reply by Marc Hardy on June 2, 2008 at 8:26pm

Bryan, I am bringing my radio, TV and voiceover experience to bear here, so take what you can use and disregard the rest. First, I would get a high-quality microphone with a wind-sock to eliminate the pops in the audio. Second, I would have someone edit the audio so that the mistakes are edited out (t5his can be done on most computers with an editing program).. Third, I would make your intro MUCH shorter and jump right into the meat of the presentation. Fourth (and this is an old radio trick) smile whle you are reading and read as though you are speaking to only one person in front of you, much like you would do in a one-on-one conversation. These two techniques will make a big difference in the "dryness" of the presentation which usually occurs when we are trying to be a narrator instead of a conversationlist. Since one person at a time will be watching this, you want them to feel like you are talking directly to them.

Hope this helps!

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Permalink Reply by Bryan Orander on August 1, 2008 at 9:35am

Marc,
My apologies for the late acknowledgement of your comments. I really appreciate your insights and look forward to a much better second attempt in the next month or so.

Bryan

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Permalink Reply by Scott Semester on June 2, 2008 at 10:14pm

Dear Bryan,

Much as I would love to do voiceover work, I have none of Marc's experience...but as someone who is relatively new to board leadership and, therefore, in your target audience, I would echo Marc's comments regarding audio quality. (Also, I'm not sure I'll have an opportunity to use Marc's "smile" technique in an audio recording scenario, but I'll definitely keep it in mind the next time I'm on the phone!)

What I would add to Marc's comments is a recommendation to play around with PowerPoint's capabilities. For example, I found slide #2 (Goals of this Presentation) as a static slide somewhat overwhelming; could you transition in each bullet point as you're addressing it, so instead of all four goals up at the start, they would come in (and remain on screen) as you're listing them? Or on slide 4 (Why Do Nonprofits Have Boards?), could each of those sub-boxes transition in as you're talking about them? An overly dynamic PowerPoint can drive folks nuts, though, so you wouldn't want to overdo it -- the table on slide 5 (Typical Nonprofit Income Sources), for example, could stay static.

Slide 6 short-circuited my brain. Trying to listen to your voice and process the table made me lose focus. Is it possible that there's just too much information on that one slide? Could that slide be distributed into two, three, or even four slides for easier visual processing?

And on slide 7, I found myself trying to match up your words to the bubbles on the diagram. They didn't quite match up, although on second viewing with frequent pausing, I was able to figure out which bubble fit in the general category you had just mentioned. I wonder if you could make it so that the bubbles that fit in a category you're mentioning change color as you mention them? For example, when you say "Ensuring financial resources" at the 7:33 mark, maybe "Obtain resources" and "Protect and grow assets" could turn blue. When you say "Evaluating your work against your mission, maybe "Plan and evaluate the efforts of the board," "Plan and evaluate the efforts of the organization," and "Ensure a well-run organization" could turn green. (It also might make sense for the similarly categorized bubbles to be next to each other.)

The middle half of the presentation was solid -- maybe just some more (but not too much!) of the dynamic PowerPoint stuff to liven it up a bit.

Slide 18 got a little wonky -- when I watched it, it seemed to flash a couple times. Also, the web address and e-mail address are underlined with Microsoft's red, squiggly "This is misspelled" lines. If you run spellcheck in PowerPoint and tell it to ignore those items before converting the presentation into video, those red squigglies should disappear.

Last specific thing: At 15:37, your "Welcome...to the Board" sounds more ominous than inspirational. It might have just been the pause, though...

I think it's really sharp overall. Easy to follow and, certainly, compelling subject matter, especially for someone who's new to board leadership. It's clear that a ton of effort went into the production of the piece, and I believe anything that can introduce new technologies into our nonprofit community will be of benefit.

Geez, now that I look at this feedback, it seems like a dang book. I really, really, really hope this is helpful and not discouraging, because (a) I own a "Welcome to the Board" booklet and refer to it frequently, (b) I really like this web-based presentation -- both format AND content, and (c) I realize that my style may not be everyone's and my comments might be just a reflection of how I view the world!

Great work -- and great courage for opening this up for feedback on Smaller Indiana. What a great opportunity! Thanks, and good luck!

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Permalink Reply by Bryan Orander on August 1, 2008 at 9:36am

Scott,
You went above and beyond in sharing your perceptions and ideas. We are preparing to take a second run at it this month and your "outside" perspective is very valuable.

Thank you,
Bryan

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